Blog 15: Last Blog

       As the semester comes to an end, writing class has helped me improve my writing skills. Some of my goals at the beginning of the semester, were that I wanted to used strong facts and be able to support them. I described how I wanted to take my writing one step further by explaining things in a more detailed way.  Although, I have made some progress in these things there is much more than I can improve on.  On my essays I noticed that I included strong points and details regarding the subject. But one of my mistakes is that I don’t keep the essays focused. I tend to use details but do not place them in the appropriate paragraph. I can make my essays better by clarifying my ideas and not be redundant.  A goal I have accomplished is that I am able to write strong thesis according to the subject of my essay.  But I can still have to work on relating my points to my thesis and be able to support the thesis I am writing bout. A thing I became better at is doing different writing strategies of how to start an essay. For instance, before I would just start writing but now I take time to make an outline or free write before starting an essay.  I would like to continue to grow as a writer, by writing essays that have a good thesis but is also supported by facts and strong details. Now, I am going to try to question each paragraph I write. In order, to make sure each paragraph is placed where it should be.  Overall, I believe I made progress in writing because each essay I wrote had more positive feedback.

Blog #14

For my portfolio, I plan to revise my argumentative essay. The strengths of my essay were that I effectively use details to summarize Murray’s article. I also address good points about the main idea of the article. Another strength in my essay is that my essay follows an order. The weaknesses of my essay were that it wasn’t focused or paragraphs weren’t clarified. For instance, in one of the analysis paragraph I used a good point but it doesn’t tie to the thesis. I also don’t use transitions to show the difference of each paragraph. A mistake I make in my essay is that I don’t tie my main points in my thesis.

In order to make my essay more effective, I am going to better focus my essay. I am going to develop my ideas more clear. I am going to make sure all my points relate to my thesis and are arranged in logical order. In my essay I also don’t explain in more detail my points so, this is what I am going to change. This essay includes a summary, analysis, and my opinion. Throughout, the essay I am going to use better transitions. This will make my essay more effective because the transitions are going to show how each paragraph is different. By making these corrections the reader is going to have a better understanding of my main point and view towards Murray’s article.

Blog 13 Argument Essays

I analyzed Charles Murray essay “Should the Obama Generation Drop Out” where he addresses different thesis in his argument. For example, one of his thesis is “It’s what you can do that should count when you apply for a job, not where you learned to do it”.  Furthermore, in his essay he also includes a thesis of how students aren’t smart enough to do college work. This taught me how to be able to integrate more than one thesis in my essay. But I have to be very careful in my thesis because it has to refer to my argument essay.

            In his argument I also noticed that he address only one side of the matter. Murray doesn’t talk about the impact his preposition can have and how it can be a problematic issue. An example is when he ignores the fact that a Bachelors Degree is not worth much. From this I learned that I shouldn’t contradict myself because it weakens the essay. Causing the views of the essay to be problematic can make the argument less effective because it doesn’t give credibility to the person that is writing the essay. The essay should follow steps where the paragraphs follow a logical order and make sense. This will help my essay be understandable when someone reads it. Also addressing the other side of the matter shows that the writer is thinking about both sides and snot just focusing on his opinion.

In the essay Murray uses a serious tone to address white-collar people and college educated students. From this I learned that in my essays I should have a clear tone this would make my essay effective because the person reading the essay is going to know how I feel towards the issue. Addressing a certain audience shows that I know who I am writing too specifically. Knowing the audience you are addressing makes me change the style of writing. For example, if I am writing an essay referring to teenager I can feel more comfortable writing to them. This is because I can relate to them and be in their shoes.

Blog #12

           In my argument essay my topic is going to be about college students and the use of alcohol. The thesis of my essay is, "College campuses should ban the use of alcohol because it makes students get distract while being in class and not perform well in their class”.
            The strongest evidence is my claim because if a student attends class while they had inherit alcohol they don't learn the material. If a person attends class in this stage they are not fully prepare and are not going to pay attention. A person who drinks can even fall asleep or not be conscious of what they are doing. As a result, the students can have lower grades because they are not fully integrated to the material being taught. This is my strongest evidence because I explained the negative outcome of what happens when students attend school while they have had alcohol.
            My weakest evidence of my easy would be my rebuttal because I can't really explain the other side of the topic. Even though drinking can cause many problems, it can also help a student relax even they have a stressing day. To make this a stronger part of my essay I can also talk about how not all students limit the amount of alcohol they inherit. The more a person drinks they are more likely to do inappropriate things. Therefore, even though alcohol can help a person relax it can also increase the chances of causing problems while being in college. This is the weakest part of my essay because I can fully develop the idea of my rebuttal. In other words, in my rebuttal I can address different things but I am not sure which one supports my thesis the best

Blog 11: Patterns of errors

In my writing, I noticed that most of my paragraphs my essays are not well focused. For example, I tend to go off topic when writing essays. I start talking about one thing and end up writing about a different topic. This is an issue on my essays because it makes my essays vague, where I am talking about different subjects. Having unfocused topics makes my essays weak because the body paragraphs don’t tie with the thesis. It is difficult for me to have focused paragraphs because I want to write many things about one subject. This is an error that I repeat constantly, but I am going to read my essays and make them relate to my thesis or essay topic.   

  Another error I make in my writing is that I don’t clarify my sentences and repeat things constantly. For instance, I explain quotes or statements but don’t always make my points clear.  I also don’t explain “why?” in my papers which makes my statements unclear. This type of error makes my papers be redundant where I constantly repeat the words again. I can change this repeated error by questioning every sentence in my essay. The strategy of thinking why I add the a particular sentence in my essay, is going to make me noticed where I don't explain things in details.

 I also noticed in my essays that my thesis are not strong enough or are not specific. When I write essays it’s hard to write my thesis because I tend to make it too wordy. In my thesis, I included words that make my thesis have two different meanings. A thesis describes the main topic of the essays; therefore, I find it difficult to come up with a thesis where I am going to have to relate to it throughout my essays. Even though, I make these mistakes constantly I am going to read my essays multiple times, try not to go off topic, and look for better sentence structure. This is going to make my essays stronger and have my writing focus related to one subject.

Blog 10 Peer Review

Peer review for me is a good strategy for classmates to critic my work. Peer review is effective because it gives us ideas about things to include in essays. For example, one students may have a certain still of writing and the person reading the can take some of those ideas. Another example is that it helps us get ideas that we can include in our writing. It can be improved by having two people per group. This will give us the opportunity to only focus in one piece of writing. Only having to read one essay will give me the chance to speak with my partner in person about the essay. I also feel that the questions should be different each time we review an essay. My strengths as a peer review are that I read the essay in details and make comments on them. I try to identify the grammatical errors they have or write questions mark in ideas that are unclear. One of my weaknesses is that I am not good at giving advice. For instance, I find it difficult to explain to my partners how they can improve. While answering the questions I identify the good and bad things but I believe I can add more details. I can explain better how they can improve on their essay. For me, it is helpful to do review at early stages in writing because we can develop better ideas with the help of our partners. When we are in the process of writing an essay it is easy to move or change ideas around. One can make any corrections and fix with the help of the peer reviewer. I believe that smaller groups would work better because it gives us a better chance to give better critic. Also because we are not going to get distracted having group discussions about different things not related to the essays. The amount of time given in class is sufficient to complete the peer review process. 

Blog 9 my own topic

My goal toward my education is to obtain a Bachelor's Degree. Afterwards I plan to keep going to college for my Masters. Right now that I am in college I am having difficulty choosing my major. There are many majors that I have in mind but don't know which one to choose. Some of them being social workers, or secondary education. I really like working and helping others that's why these are the main careers I am thinking about. This is a crucial part of my life because it is the job that I am going to have all my life, but I really find it hard to choose my career. I am undecided because besides liking my major I have to take into consideration the job opportunities each career has. In order to choose my major I have met with a Career Service Counselor. They are helping me evaluate myself and the things I like. They have also explained to me each major and their advantages and disadvantages. So I hope soon I can declared my major. Overall, I think that whatever major I choose writing classes are really helpful. Writing class helps my goals because I am going to be writing no matter what. The most important piece of writing is going to be my thesis once I graduate. Therefore, writing class are helpful because they make my skills stronger. The advantages are that I am able to have better diction and reading skills in others. Writing is something I am going to do in any major I choose no matter which one it is.