Blog 15: Last Blog

       As the semester comes to an end, writing class has helped me improve my writing skills. Some of my goals at the beginning of the semester, were that I wanted to used strong facts and be able to support them. I described how I wanted to take my writing one step further by explaining things in a more detailed way.  Although, I have made some progress in these things there is much more than I can improve on.  On my essays I noticed that I included strong points and details regarding the subject. But one of my mistakes is that I don’t keep the essays focused. I tend to use details but do not place them in the appropriate paragraph. I can make my essays better by clarifying my ideas and not be redundant.  A goal I have accomplished is that I am able to write strong thesis according to the subject of my essay.  But I can still have to work on relating my points to my thesis and be able to support the thesis I am writing bout. A thing I became better at is doing different writing strategies of how to start an essay. For instance, before I would just start writing but now I take time to make an outline or free write before starting an essay.  I would like to continue to grow as a writer, by writing essays that have a good thesis but is also supported by facts and strong details. Now, I am going to try to question each paragraph I write. In order, to make sure each paragraph is placed where it should be.  Overall, I believe I made progress in writing because each essay I wrote had more positive feedback.

Blog #14

For my portfolio, I plan to revise my argumentative essay. The strengths of my essay were that I effectively use details to summarize Murray’s article. I also address good points about the main idea of the article. Another strength in my essay is that my essay follows an order. The weaknesses of my essay were that it wasn’t focused or paragraphs weren’t clarified. For instance, in one of the analysis paragraph I used a good point but it doesn’t tie to the thesis. I also don’t use transitions to show the difference of each paragraph. A mistake I make in my essay is that I don’t tie my main points in my thesis.

In order to make my essay more effective, I am going to better focus my essay. I am going to develop my ideas more clear. I am going to make sure all my points relate to my thesis and are arranged in logical order. In my essay I also don’t explain in more detail my points so, this is what I am going to change. This essay includes a summary, analysis, and my opinion. Throughout, the essay I am going to use better transitions. This will make my essay more effective because the transitions are going to show how each paragraph is different. By making these corrections the reader is going to have a better understanding of my main point and view towards Murray’s article.

Blog 13 Argument Essays

I analyzed Charles Murray essay “Should the Obama Generation Drop Out” where he addresses different thesis in his argument. For example, one of his thesis is “It’s what you can do that should count when you apply for a job, not where you learned to do it”.  Furthermore, in his essay he also includes a thesis of how students aren’t smart enough to do college work. This taught me how to be able to integrate more than one thesis in my essay. But I have to be very careful in my thesis because it has to refer to my argument essay.

            In his argument I also noticed that he address only one side of the matter. Murray doesn’t talk about the impact his preposition can have and how it can be a problematic issue. An example is when he ignores the fact that a Bachelors Degree is not worth much. From this I learned that I shouldn’t contradict myself because it weakens the essay. Causing the views of the essay to be problematic can make the argument less effective because it doesn’t give credibility to the person that is writing the essay. The essay should follow steps where the paragraphs follow a logical order and make sense. This will help my essay be understandable when someone reads it. Also addressing the other side of the matter shows that the writer is thinking about both sides and snot just focusing on his opinion.

In the essay Murray uses a serious tone to address white-collar people and college educated students. From this I learned that in my essays I should have a clear tone this would make my essay effective because the person reading the essay is going to know how I feel towards the issue. Addressing a certain audience shows that I know who I am writing too specifically. Knowing the audience you are addressing makes me change the style of writing. For example, if I am writing an essay referring to teenager I can feel more comfortable writing to them. This is because I can relate to them and be in their shoes.

Blog #12

           In my argument essay my topic is going to be about college students and the use of alcohol. The thesis of my essay is, "College campuses should ban the use of alcohol because it makes students get distract while being in class and not perform well in their class”.
            The strongest evidence is my claim because if a student attends class while they had inherit alcohol they don't learn the material. If a person attends class in this stage they are not fully prepare and are not going to pay attention. A person who drinks can even fall asleep or not be conscious of what they are doing. As a result, the students can have lower grades because they are not fully integrated to the material being taught. This is my strongest evidence because I explained the negative outcome of what happens when students attend school while they have had alcohol.
            My weakest evidence of my easy would be my rebuttal because I can't really explain the other side of the topic. Even though drinking can cause many problems, it can also help a student relax even they have a stressing day. To make this a stronger part of my essay I can also talk about how not all students limit the amount of alcohol they inherit. The more a person drinks they are more likely to do inappropriate things. Therefore, even though alcohol can help a person relax it can also increase the chances of causing problems while being in college. This is the weakest part of my essay because I can fully develop the idea of my rebuttal. In other words, in my rebuttal I can address different things but I am not sure which one supports my thesis the best