Blog 4

Now that I had time to review my rough draft I noticed grammar mistakes. This is something I changed through my essay to make it sound better. While taking my time to re-read my essay I fixed certain sentences because either they were run-on or the past tense was wrong. Getting feedback from my peers help me in knowing what could be done to fix my narrative essay. Therefore, I fix my conclusion by adding more details about my feelings. For example, I added how I feel proud of been bilingual and how it benefits me. My final paper looks different from my rough draft because I added more details. This improved my essay because readers are going to have a better understanding of my taught. Also by adding more details my audience are going to know how difficult it was for me to make the transition to bilingual classes.  I made some revision but I mainly tried to describe everything more vividly. I believe my essay was structure the way I wanted because I start as a child but then talk about how it affected me over the years to be a bilingual person. In order for me to make these changes I took into consideration my peers critic. I tried to fix my conclusion to have a better ending and summarize what I thought. I also re-read my paper out loud to listen to how it sounded. This made me catch any errors or sentences that didn’t make sense. By reading my essay out loud benefit me because I notice I could place sentence in different paragraphs. The strongest part of my essay is my introduction because I describe my childhood and neighborhood. This is important because it draws my audience into my story. By doing this they can put themselves in my shoes and understand me more. My weakest part of my essay is the paragraph where I talk about the test I had to take. I believe I can describe more what the test were about. But I have difficulty writing it in words. I also believe that one weakest part of my essay is tone because it changes throughout my essay. Overall, my first essay is a decent essay that illustrates the person I am.